Saturday, February 20, 2010

addled in Adelaide

7 days in Adelaide. Which means, a week already.
Funny, while I was riding the bus and sometimes I'll be thinking, "Gosh, I'm in Australia!". It still feels like a dream. It's my first summer ever, and boy the Mr Sun just couldn't be friendlier! Each day, the temperature just climbs to a greater degree. Communication became a problem at first, (still does a little sometimes. Confidence just takes some time to build ya know?) because my brain was addled by the heat and the blindingly beautiful scenery around me. I can't even say a proper 'hello'and ýes' and 'no' because I spent two months at home NOT polishing my english and NOT training my ears to the lilting accent of the Aussies. Yeaaas, sir, me speakk eeengleeeshhh.

Back to basic.
Getting around was adventurous to say the least. Each one of us carried big ass handbags. (one that just HAVE to fit 2 bottles for : 1) drinking. because it's hot and dry as hell here. 2) toilet bottle. yes. u geddit? because they dont have a friggin tap inside the stall near the john like we have in Msia.'
so that alone requires a lot of space in our handbags. What else do we need? Purse, handphone, map, bus timetable,adress book,passport, sunblock, lip balm, moisturiser.... Because it's friggin dry here!
Oh yeah, and we usually get around city and the suburbs by bus and also walking... So you can just imagine the exhaustion la... And the heat... Oh, the heat... :P

Around here we have this cool transport called O-Bahn. It's like a bus that can change into a trem once it gets around the suburbs. O-Bahn only goes around in the East side of South Australia. :D
Jakun laa weyh... ====>
( >__<)
The first few days here were a bit of a problem to us. We were very confused with the no of buses we're suppose to take, and which stop to go to... Which street the stop is situated in the city. East side or West? That kinda of problem. Fortunately, the city isn't very big. In two day's time all 9 of us can already give directions up and about the city. Our only evil cryptonite is the suburban area.
I know Adelaide is a planned city and all.. places are supposed to be very alligned to each other, and the map is quite easy to understand because everything on the map look square-ish. But the suburbs have lots of small junctions and street in between. Unless we Google-mapped first, everything would get very hair-wired.

Ah... a topic I'd rather not explain. The situation is pretty hairy at the moment. We just pray our hardest for our length of stay at our senior's house isn't gonna be that long. As of now, we're okay with camping on our senior's living room. But really, we hate to become a liability and we really need a house BAD.
The houses we have looked at so far were good. Well, most of them are. But the problem is sometimes we don;t like the price of the rent. Sometimes the house is far from any bus stops. Two houses that we like so far haven't had the agent call us back and these houses are SUPERB wey.. We have already fallen in love at the first sight of them, but yeah... Que sera sera! Let's just pray for the best!

Halal food.
Yiros kebab. Coles market. Nando's. And our favourite so far, Swinging Bowl.
It's a malay restaurant, siap dengan nasi campur and all that. Lauk ayam masak lemak, masak rendang, masak kari, sayur campur. Swinging bowl translates into Mangkuk Hayun and we meet a lot of student from Malaysia there too!

hoho... well, ok. that's it for now! Penat la. it's already 2 am and i just spent my whole day walking from around the city and suburbs of S.A.
More to come!! :D

Thursday, February 11, 2010

tiger. valentine's. apple. australia

Because Chinese New Year is this Saturday. To those who celebrate, may you enjoy your holiday. To my friends who are going to Australia and won't have the chance to celebrate this day with family, friends and loved ones, still, Gong Xi Fa Chai. Spend your time well before you go. :)

I don't celebrate Valentine's. But still, it's nice to know that we still have love in this convoluted world. Not everything is bad.

For Fiona. I just love her voice. Taking a break from disco, techno, rocking song for a while and just enjoying a nice combination of blues and jazz. Been feeling a little morose, but that's only normal I suppose.
Here's a little Fiona Apple for this year's Valentine's.

i'm sentimental so I walk in the rain
i've got some habits even I can't explain
i go to the corner, but i end up in spain
why try to change me now
i sit and daydream
i've got daydreams galore
cigarette ashes
there they go on the floor
go away weekends
leave my keys in the door
why try to change me now

why cant i be more conventional
people stop and they stare
so i try
but that can't be
cuz i can't see
my strange little world
just go passing me by
let people wonder
let them laugh, let them frown
you know i love you till the moon's upside down
don't you remember
i was always your clown
why try to change me now

why would you change me
why try to change me now

Is where I would be in two days, God's willing. Don't say goodbye. But until we meet again..

Monday, February 8, 2010

calm storm

The air is crackling with tension, the wind feels a little heavy and blows a tad too strong.
In the sky, a swirling pool of dark clouds begin to form, and everyone around gets an eerie premonition of something sinister that's brewing in the town.
And there I sit in the eye of tornado. Surrounded by calamitous storm and chaos.
Calm and peace is all I ever ask for.

If there ever was a wish of mine that never came true
is of adults that can't be calm and have panic attacks all the time
I am young and I'm scared
I can't cry out for help from someone who is drowning with fear too
Painfully waiting day by day
Hoping not to just get by but for something to get better
for a progress

all noises blocked out
I deafen myself for my heart and pride couldn't suffer through
another beatings and abuse
mentally checking my temper
keeping my expression neutral
soothing words for my own ears
because no other would believe what mine own wouldn't call lies

please stop putting all the blames on me


I took a detour down memory lane. But not virtually, I was there.
I was at first torn between doing what was right, and doing what I wanted. Curiosity got the best of me in the end.
I gave in. I agreed.
While I was waiting, I was sorely tempted to just scream uncle and run. To stood her up.
But, that would be very bitchy of me, after I have already agreed to the 'date'. Today's purpose was to prove otherwise, not reinforce. (I'm not a bitch, honest.)
So I went.
I met.
We met.
We talked.
We were awkward.

Surprisingly, it went okay.
It was not exactly fun, but it was nice.
Our conversation was laced with silences (at least to me) sometimes, but I didn't exactly feel uncomfortable sitting beside her, talking and eating side by side. I was relieved. We were very civil and polite. To be honest, I at least expected something to lash out from either one of us. I would be lying if I said I didn't anticipate the dam to just break free. But no.
No skeletons were dug out.
Our conversations were very safe, we threaded our words carefully as if they were fragile. My smile and laughters were not engineered as well. I didn't feel restrained from being myself.
What I do find odd was the way her eyes avoided from looking straight into mine. I have the habit of looking someone in their eyes while having conversation, (that is, if I want to have the conversation) but I kept finding hers staring at anything but mine.
Which gives me nothing to speculate on unless I start assuming things but assuming makes an ass out of me and her, but the irony is I am already assuming things aren't I?

It seems that I was worrying over nothing being that everything went smoothly.
I feel good.
I didn't chicken out.
I'm taking baby steps to sweeten up what went sour in the past. Trying to not make it too hard on myself because I'm just a normal human being who make mistakes.
Que sera sera.

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Call an ambulance, I want to get better.
I think I have been focusing on the wrong thing.
I want to feel what's right. :)

Friday, February 5, 2010


Three things I wish to highlight in this post:

1. Run

Some things make you good. Some make you bad. Run from the things that's no good for you.
Run like I did.
Before it's too late.

2. Old pain, post-traumatic.

Why do I feel like screaming? again.
Don't apologize, I don't even know why I did what I did.
I only know what you did.
Apology accepted, now will you move on and leave me alone?

3. Pretend

Do i have to put on a facade? A plastic smile on my lips will tell you that everything is fine. A front will only make you judge me further, revealing my true self will make you turn and shake your head in disgust and disapproval. Nothing can ever satisfy you.
If I may say, I'd rather be myself, at least I do it with a little dignity and my pride intact.


i wish he was you

Thursday, February 4, 2010

ampun, tok, janji x buat lagi!

Kalau buat baek, orang ingat sekejap je.. Nanti pupus laa ingatan orang terhadap jasa baik kite. Tapi rasenye2 kalau aq buat jahat, memang pegi mane2 mesti kene batang hidung sendiri balik!!!

Huaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahah~~~ >.<

Saye janji xkan buat jahat lagiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!
Siyes, I swear!
Saye akan bagi clean slate. Jangan sebut 'bende' tu depan aq lagi.. Hahahah.. :P
Let me start afresh? Pretty please? ;;)

Okay, move on people!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


hahaha... In my Facebook profile, a quiz on "who's your TWILIGHT boy" is on display.
And when abah saw this, he was like,


Remind me to not put any crap on display in Fb profile. :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

merci beaucoup

My life wouldn't be as easy as it is now without mak and abah. :)
Overall, sebenarnye saye sgt luckyyyyy~~~~~ ^_^
Alhamdulillah. I know some people don't have it easy. And I may not have it all, but what I have is enough. Sometimes more than enough. My life isn't tough because there people for me to fall back on.
Senang. Memang laa x selalu meminta sangat dengan mak abah, but sometimes bile mintak and reasonable, boleh dapat. Oh, xla to the extend of petik jari je dapat. Gile kene baling periuk aq macam tu! But saye sgt2 bersyukur ade mak abah yang boleh provide for their children when they need it. I have to be more careful and work harder to not burden them by asking for more in the future!!! >.<

I was worried actually preparing for departure. When I ask my friends who are also doing architecture I suddenly realised that damn this course requires quite an expenditure!!!!
Pening fikir nak pakai laptop yang competant,camera,sketching pencils,pen, etc etc..
Klaw depend on duit scholar je.. Um,,payah jugak tuu...
But as I voiced my worries to my parents they were sort of cool with it.
"They will be taken care of", according to them.
Wow, I must tell you, I felt guilty and also relieved at the same time....
I cannot help but think about those who are less fortunate than me and if their parents are able to say such thing so candidly and carelessly.

I hate to think that I'm spoiled. Well, if I am then I suppose I'm only spoiled on average.
But ma, abah.
Thank you...
I am grateful. ^_^

i am a beggar always
who begs in your mind
(slightly smiling, patient, unspeaking
with a sign on his
BLIND)yes i
am this person of whom somehow
you are never wholly rid(and who
does not ask for more than
just enough dreams to
live on)
-e.e cummings

Monday, February 1, 2010

ahoy mate!

Received a SUPER great news from my friend!!!! :D
I was literally jumping with joy when I heard it! Ah, but the greatness of having friends. When they are happy you are happy for them and with them too.

It boggles me that I've got less than 2 weeks before I go to the land down under!!!
Waaahhh~~ where did all the hours and seconds go to?
It's so mental! I feel sick with anticipation. Dread and excitement is coursing through my veins for what is yet to come!! Jeng jeng~

Um, anyways.

I still feel a little sad by the fact that my sister won't be able to send me off. I mean, it will be a long time before I get to see her again. I miss her very dearly. But oh well, touche! Because I wasn't there when she was flying off to Indonesia 2 years ago.

(Have to pack my things now.. 20kg only ah??? Aiyaaa.. Die lahh!