Monday, August 31, 2009

the ugly duckling

The ugly duckling stood in front of a mirror. Her critical eyes roamed every inch of her body, from the coarse tuft of hair on top of her round head right down to her feet. But what she hated the most, oh how she hated it, was her mouth. It looked like a duck's beak. The ugly did a 180 and looked at his ample derriere, craning her neck as she did so. Now there's another reason to add to my misery. She did not wonder why she became the butt of the jokes (pun truly intended) of her family and friends.

The duckling then walked with her signature awkward gait to a rock near a pond where her whole family were swimming. She sighed as she looked at a swan which perched prettily on a huge rock at the middle of the pond while all the males flocked to her side. The swan held herself regally with a serene expression etched on her beautiful face. Her feathers were as white as snow during winter her long, slender neck struck the perfect balance between grace and strength. Oh, how I envy the swans! Cried the ugly duckling.

Years have passed and unlike the bed-time story for wide-eyed innocent little children, the ugly duckling did not grow to be a beutiful swan. Appearancewise, she was still her dull and drab self, the stark contrast of her plain look was highlighted even more so when she sat beside the graceful swan. But what the ugly duckling lacked in looks, she made up with her personality.
Possessing steely determination, light-heartedness and sincerity, wit, humour and humbleness,
the ugly duckling became quite a vivacious character.

And the ugly duckling lived happpily ever after?

That is yet to be seen. But let's keep our hopes up and pray for the best for the ugly duckling.
I'm pretty sure she would find have her happy ending before the curtains are drawn.

Friday, August 28, 2009


The class was freakin boring. Full with boring people with dull conversation. Speaking to them made her roll her contact-lensed eyes. These people talked of philosophy and politics. Who gives a damn about a group of old men who behaves like immature kiddos in a round room furnished with long tables. As for philosophy... Well, she could only care so much about what Voltaire said as much as she cared about the grass that grew at the back of her house. To quote American Wedding, "Voltaire can suck on ------- "(Finish that line, you know it.)

Pippa fidgeted in her seat. She had been silent since the moment she entered the classroom. This, was superbly unnnatural for her because she, is Pippa. The drama queen. The chatterbox who could blabber on endlessly about anything and nothing to almost anyone and everyone, interesting or otherwise. Just as she was about to get up from her seat to escape the suffocating atmosphere in the class, a man approached and sat in the seat next to her. "Hello there." said the man.

Oh goody! Thought Pippa. She was just about to pass out from the saturated intellectual aura that seem to radiate and seep out the pores of every other person in the class. And she was getting extremely bored too when here came a man who could be her Mother Teresa.

"Oh, hello!" she replied excitedly. "Are you new here too??" she asked him.

The man laughed. Hmm.... kind of cute.

"No,not really. I saw you sitting alone, so I thought I'd come over and say hi." the man replied with a charming smile that crinkled up the skin at the corners of his eyes.

Pippa smiled wryly and said, "Mmmm, yeah. It's actually kind of weird for me to have nothing to talk about. I'm usually not this quiet."

"Oh? Why is that?" asked the man in earnest.

Pippa almost blurted out, "Because the people in this room suck." But she caught herself before she said it and instead, replied a safe answer. "Oh, I guess I'm just not familiar with you guys yet." she said airily. The man seem to perk up at this and said to her, "Then let's put a stop to this silence! I seem to have just the perfect topic for us to talk about. You know, to get you warmed up and maybe then you would become more involved."

Riiiiiight. Pippa began to to have a feeling that she was not going to like what was coming next. The man seemed patronizing, but she gave him the benefit and the doubt and chirped a (fake) enthusiastic "Sure!"

Then the man started to talk about politics. He blabbered on and on and on, she was struglling so hard to control her eyes from glazing over the words that are coming out of his mouth. Pippa could comprehend the basic of what the man was enthusiasticly talking about but politics was not what she had in mind when this guy approached her. She thought he would talk about something fun like.. Like, anything, but politics. After all, who would choose politics as a topic for a conversation with a person you met for the first time. Duh!
Pippa was not stupid nor ignorant, she was aware of the latest political news. She just did not think there was a need to make politics as a day to day conversation. It's so bleak and dull to talk about something so serious early in the morning. She'd rather talk about mundane things like the weather and other stuff but THIS.

"So, what do you think?" asked the man after a half an hour of his opinionated statements regarding the current state of the government.

"Uh......." was all Pippa could come up with. Then, she said "Yeah. That's right, I agree with you."

The man seemed unimpressed. Then he moved on to talking about the country's economy! Pippa groaned inwardly. She honestly couldn't take it anymore. Without warning she blurted out,

"Hey, yeah. You know, I gotta run. I left my stuff at the library." and she quickly stoop up and gathered her books on the table and stuff them in her stylish leather duffel from Dorothy Perkins. The man's face seem to fall when he said "Oh, okay."

Pippa smiled wryly and mumbled "Nice meeting ya." and quickly make her escape through the front door, leaving the invariable conversations of philosophies, politics, economy and the state affairs behind her as she shut the door.

She stood still in front of the door and exhaled in relief. She thought,

Sorry kiddo. It's not me, it's you and the whole class.

Then she walked to the lift and pushed the button to go down to the cafeteria and meet her girlfriends.

-Pippa's Take on Boring Conversations-

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

MOCK, do not mock me!

Berikut ialah pesanan daripada Kementerian Kesihatan:

Simptom2 H1N1:

1. Seram sejuk
2. Insomnia
3. Selera makan berkurangan
4. Selera makan BERTAMBAH2
5. Mimpi ngeri di waktu malam (e.g: dikejar HP calculator)
6. Tidak bermaya
7. Tersandar di dinding dengan ekxpresi muka keliru
8. Fatigue/ letih2 badan


Berikut ialah simptom2 orang yg menghidapi Ausmatatis. Sesiapa yang mempunyai simptom2 tersebut hendaklah meng-kuarantin-kan dirinya dan membuat pemeriksaan otak.

Marilah bersama2 membasmi epidemik ini. Majulah pemuda untuk negara~


Saturday, August 22, 2009

it's not the same

Ramadhan has come and while a part of my heart feels a certain joy of celebrating it, another melancholic side of it feels a dull ache of missing them terribly. My family, that is. I miss spending time with them. Every year, this holy fasting month brings us closer together. Now I need them more than ever, but I can't show them that. I have to be strong as I've always showed them time and again.

But,oh, how I miss those walks at the bazaar just right up the corner from my house. With the evening clouds stained orange I would walk with Yayang or Nadiah just around 6, salivating at the sight of rows and rows of steaming hot food on display. The bazaar near my house is 2 blocks of shop houses long with a variety of food. Our favourite food would be this delicious kueh teaw goreng with kerang, sprinkled with crunchy bean-sprouts. And then, of course, laksa penang and laksa johor. Nasi kerabu. Nasi dagang. Roasted chicken. Ulam jantung with sambal belacan. Ikan pari panggang dengan sambal. *salivating*
Sometimes we would buy different kinds of drink from the bazaar too. Most delicious so far would be air kelapa,cincau and air katira.
And desserts......... (*0*)
Cakes, puddings, caramelized puddings *massive salivating*, and Ah! Of course, kuih lopeh! My no. 1 favourite!

I love kuih lopeh sooo much that once when I was searching for it with such focus and determination, I walked right pass this boy whom I've had massive crush upon without entirely realizing it! Only after I've found my kuih lopef my friend whom I ran into told me she saw the whole thing happenning and that I was totally out of it because of my damn obsession with kuih lopeh. (=_=''')

Breaking fast back at home is usually around 7. Way quicker compared to here. So, once my siblings and I reach home, we would set up the table. My mom seldom cooked, but sometimes she would make steamboats and fry mee goreng or tauhu goreng to add up to the food we bought. After setting up the table, someone would have to go and summon Ikram, the bugger to get his lazy ass to the kitchen. Then, we would wait. Straight up the corner of my house, is the mosque. And I would often stand at the front door of my house and listen for the azan.

Once, we hear the azan, we would break our fast. It is usually this time, I would feel very at peace with everything that surrounds me. The quiet spaces of my house, the sound of birds chirping outside, and the first 10 minutes of breaking fast at the dinner table at my house. Because no one would be talking as they are busy chewing their food. But, after that, well, back to same old din.

What I also miss, is walking to the mosque with my sisters and my mom. Or when we walk back home. I am never quiet during these walks. I would kacau and kacau and kacau Yayang until her nose flare with irritation. ( Yeah, your nose flare, moyang!)
Or, I would be sharing a story with Nadiah during one of these walks.
And then, once we reach our home, we would all race to the fridge and who gets there first would get the caramelized pudding!Hahaaa~ (Usually saved for late night supper.)


Here, where I presently reside, I feel a sharp longing of being back in Jb. Why? Because I'm having cornflakes for sahur and bread with tuna and mushroom soup for breaking fast? Maybe not. Maybe yeah. But then again, isn't the whole point if fasting is to also get a feel of what it's like living with little food on the platter and little water to quench the thirst?
I don't really care about food. It's not a big issue. What I care is that I won't have the oppoturnity to spend this Ramadhan with my loved ones.

And people keep telling me that, no worries, just a few more months to go, and then this fight will come to a short intermission. =p
Yeah, heck, I know that. But still, that don't keep me from feeling just a little bit lonely here~

Home is where the heart is.
My heart is detached from my body.
Homesickness resurfaces.
Those who have not felt it because they can go home anytime they want can shut the heck up, because my heart is not in to listen to words said.
(tgh menyirap sbb jeles tgk org laen boleh balek... uhuhuuuu~~ (T__T)

Bersabarlah natto!!!! You can do this!!!! You are strong bebeh! Grrrr~~

Sunday, August 16, 2009


It's only been a week,
The rush of being home in rapid fading.
Prevailing to recall What I was missing,
all that time in England Has sent me aimlessly,
On foot or by the help of transportation,
To knock on windows where A friend no longer live, I had forgotten.
And everywhere I go, There's always something to remind me
Of another place and time
Where love that travelled far had found me.
We stayed outside til two, Waiting for the light to come back,
But hid in talk I knew, Until you asked what I was thinking.
Brave men tell the truth, A wise man's tools are analogies and puzzles,
A woman holds her tongue, Knowing silence will speak for her.
So now I'll never know, As you will only sleep beside me, And everywhere I go...
~Remind me, Röyksopp~
We've got TWO more weeks.
Until MOCK, that is...
Still have time until TEE.
But our time is running out~~~~~~
(lagu MUSE, tetibe jek!)
So, come on people!!! JPA didn't choose us for nothing alright!
Overcome your shortcomings, sharpen your knives, load up your guns, arm up soldier!!!
And prepare for battle!
(jeng jeng jeng jeng!)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

an american crime

So I watched this movie this other day. Another late night movie with my roomate. How romantic it would be if only my roomate was not a girl and we were watching perhaps something romantic like The Notebook or whatever instead of watching something scary.

I'm not talking about horror movies. They don't scare shit. I mean it! I mean, I watch Quarantine and Saw and could still laugh my head off at the psychoness of it. (Yeah, tough gal!)

(Bajet arrr...)

Naw, what my roomate and I watch the other day, was something more than just some people screaming because of some weird zombies or Ju-on chasing them.

Violence and abuses are more horrifying don't you think?

I think they are. Especially more so because they are committed by human beings. This is my personal opinion: I think human beings are the most beautiful and special creation on this planet, but they can also be so terrifying.

How can a person who feels pain, shame, sadness inflict the same terrible actions on another human being?

It makes me sad just thinking about how many people was unpunished for the sordid crime they convicted. Makes me angry thinking of the unfairness of this world. Of little children's fate who were sexually abused, physically harmed, emotionally raped, forever tarnished. It's enraging it is.

Why can't the world be as beautiful as seen from an innocent little 5-year old's eyes?

What foolish notion I have. Stupid stupid stupid me.

I once heard this, but I honestly can't remember from where. But it says:

"Where there is light, there will be shadows."

I suppose if somewhere in the corner in this world where nothing but love matters, where truth is King, and peace is sacred, then there would also be a place where hatred harbors, where corruption and lies conquer and violence is majestic.


I feel old.

Try to watch this movie if you can. It's quite heart-wrenching and tragic. Based on a true story.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

in a relationship with technology anyone?

this post is for my dear friends,
especially najian. =)
yes, sayang, this one is for you~
once upon a time,
a man discovered the greatest thing on Earth,
his name was
Alexander Graham Bell.
He was a great man. Brilliant.
For he created a magical and wondrous thing called,
The telephone.
Yes, it was the most wondrous thing,
As many, (evidently) can't live without it now.
As time passes,It developed into...
A Handphone.
(Wow, okay. Wow.)
The handphone, has a lot more to offer than just a regular telephone.
You can text message,
turn yourself deaf with loud music
from mp3 that comes with the handphone,
and of course.
(seems to be everyone's and anyone's IT thing to do these days)
What's not to like about it?
It's the perfect package!
You can put Britney Spears as ringtone ,and you phone will go,
like one of our beloved lecturer,
whose phone goes
or sometimes, Doraemon's theme as his message alert.
And when you don't want to be disturbed you when you're in
'one of those peaceful moments'
you can always put it on silent.
But of course, it has a vibrator which which enables it to vibrate in case you still need to know
who's hollering you to go out to mamak and shisha.
The vibrator, also works in many many wonderful ways if only you know how...
in this 21st century
it ain't a surprise to see anyone and everyone
in a 'relationship' with technology.
It's on to a whole new level, you can betcha.
(what with handphones that can vibrate and all...)
Haven't been cheeky for quite some time now...
Think it's time to unleash it a bit. =p
Maap najian, ttbe merapu pulak..
The purpose of this post is,
to let you know.
That I know that I infuriate you so mucho mucho mucho.
Eh bien.
I'm just such a caveman you see?
As far as I know,
I'm always in a relationship with another human being.
Not a thing. Not another medium.
I'm not in a relationship with my handphone.
C'est la vie.

Friday, August 7, 2009

a time for myself?

"How I envy the cats!!"

"They sleep on the wiper of Nana's car"

"They sleep on the cold tiles on scorching hot afternoon"

"They sleep on warm road on a breezy evening"

"They sleep on the soft cushion of the old chair at night and

curl up with their paws tucked under their small face and

with ears as warm as syrup on freshly cooked pancakes."

Theoretical question:

Does it make me a selfish person if I just ignore everyone for a while and take some time for myself?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE being around people. After all, who likes being alone? I know I don't! But, sometimes right...... After so long of trying to maintain my composure, so long of racking my brain for brilliant conversation, so long of pondering and thinking and thinking and thinking......

I feel like breaking free from everything else for a change.

I'd love to lie in bed for hours and hours and hours doing nothing... Just staring at the fan on the ceiling. Wouldn't that be nice?
I'd love to be quiet for a bit and not talk to anyone because conversation can be a bit tiresome sometimes.
I'd love to lie in idleness on the floor and listen to jazz and bossa nova late at night.
I'd love to just sit on the sofa and read thousands and thousands of pages of novels.
I'd love to sit in the living room and catch re-runs of House and CSI.
I'd love to have long,long,long hours of showers and afterwards long long long hours of pampering myself with cold cream and cold wind on my face.
Hot chocolate drinks and toast( a bit charred preferably)with butter and kaya.

Aaah~ *blissful*
That would have been nice.

A time all for my self. ME and me alone.

Now the only time I can be alone is when I'm sleeping.
Is this the signs of exhaustion?
Definitely maybe.
I'm so wiped out these days.
Signs of AGING!!! argh~ I'm not as energetic as I used to be.........

God, I miss my life of idleness.

And now. Just let me sleep okay?

I just want to..ZZZzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

(Post orang malas. Post dlm blog pun psl nk tido. ZZzzz..)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

yayang,bile rase sedih..

bile rase sedih
bagi sye, care yang terbaek is to cry.
mase kecik2, sye suke nanges. orang panggil sye radio burok. fine, it's ok.
tapi bile dah besar siket, sye x suke bile org nmpk saye nanges.
"I look weak".
sye dah dilabel as hyperactive, bubbly, talkative dan cheerful mase kecik
sye rase sye x boleh menanges depan org
sbb nnti sye x twu nak explain kenape sye nanges.
orang laen x paham kenape.

bile dah tue mcm skarang ni (19 tahun),
i still like to cry.
i cry for the smallest thing in the world,
tapi sekurang2nye,
sye dah x sembunyikan lagi.
sye x boleh sembunyikan.

al-fatihah to ur friend akie.
Allah lebih syg kat dy.
Doakan dy. Doakan family dy. Doakan kwn2 dy.
Bile rase sedih, don't be afraid to cry.
Don't keep everything in your heart.
Griefing is a part of healing.
I x ade sebelah u kali ni ntuk peluk u bile u nanges,
Tapi i ade kat sini ntuk u.
Klaw u need someone just to hear u cry,
I x kesah. U pun tawu i nanges lagi banyak dari u.
Tapi u kene be strong.
Skarang kawan u lebih dekat pade-Nya.
Kite yang maseh jauh atau dekat perjalanan kat dunia ni,
masih di tengah perjalanan.
Mase xkan berhenti.

I tawu u tabah yayang.
Your memory of him is enough for him.
as long as u remember, he lives in our hearts forever.

Kat cni, sye nak ckp pade kwn2 sye yg drive atau bwak motor or bawak lori, atau bwak van
(Abang Pian dan Abang Lan!),
mahupun beskal,
hati2 kat jalan raye.
Bunyi mcm iklan hari raye,
tapi siyes ni,
ingatlah pade keluarge dan kawan2,
ingatlah pade Nya.
This life is short, sbb tu every single moment is precious.

Awak yang drive kerete,
Plz be careful.

P/s: Kte pray for our loved ones. Keep them safe. Wherever they are.