my god, you're only 19. and here I am grinning like a fool because you didn't just cast me aside.
The thing, with crushes is that they never last long.
Which works just fine with me because if longevity is related with the kind of crush i'm going through I'm pretty much screwed because then I would be doomed to eternal un-moving-on-ness. Which is what we're suppose to do in life isn't it? moving on. and having a hell of fun out while you're at it. :)
The thing, I don't like about crushes though, is that they start fast whenever I move to a new area. It's like a cycle, the spread of a disease that has no cure to it. Note: I've put this on 2012 new year's resolution. In case I get to deported to a new place for Masters, I, Nadhirah 'Afiah should not ever, ever develop a new crush. Ever.
What's good about a little crush is, there's totally no harm in it. Well, except for the illegalities of stalking your object of affection even if it's just through world-wide social networking, *ehem.. facebook.. ehem!* there are no other consequences that you have to bear with. Unless, of course, if your crush is a discreet case and suddenly one day it isn't anymore. The only consequences you have to bear with is massive EMBARRASSMENT when this happens. *sigh*
But that is just a tiny, tiny thing to deal with. Just smile and wave and pretend that you have not the slightest idea regarding this issue when someone asks you about it. Because you know the pros definitely outweighs the cons.
What are the pros you ask me?
Well, you need not exercise because your heart just so happen to beat really fast whenever you see him..... So that's a cardio-workout for you although he was really just passing by and have not the slightest idea of the near-heart palpitation effect he just had on you....
And at the chance that he might glance your way, you will be at your best behaviour and posture. And that might be a little on the hypocritical and plastic side, but hey, if it generates a better image of you.. I say, go for it. definitely. After all, to all the people around us,we are what we present. riiighht?
... what i'm trying to say is, just let me bask in this temporary glow although it's just one-sided. I am not ashamed of my own feelings. Why should anyone be? and yes, i sound bimbotic, but admit it. all of us have been, and still do this crushing business. so don't go around beetchiiiingg about me just because i'm able to be honest about it and you're not.
If at an early age, a child learns how to separate between what's physical and emotional, he'll grow up to be a strong person. Sometimes too strong that even he can't tell if it's pain that he feels.
I wonder how Achilles felt when that arrow pierced his heel. Did he feel betrayed that his supposedly invincible body failed to rise to the occasion?
Achilles, I'm sure the pain of the burst of your ego bubble exceeded the the physical pain you went through when your vision went black and the knowledge descend upon you that you, are going to die. Alone.