don't read this.

I'm telling you readers, please don't read this.
It's just yet another sacrificial post in order for me to kill, in order for me to stay sane in the middle of this tumult I'm facing.

Because this post is gonna hurt. It is. My advice to you is,
IF U CANT STAND READING THIS,THEN WHY READ, U MASOCHIST?

Anyway, yeah. I'm having yet ANOTHER fight my best best best friend in the world.
It's just so endless. I don't know why.
Okay, actually I do know why.
We are so different.
We had our good times, and also bad times. Many bad times, mind you.
Maybe tolerance always brought us back together.
But I don't think that's the main reason.
I think mostly is because she is a kind person.
She has her good points. Of course.
But as is natural for every human being, she has flaws. Just as I do. Just as anyone does.

I can tolerate her flaws. Because to me, I have flaws too. So if I can't accept this, then it's almost the same as not acknowledging that we are humans.
But the problem comes when she can't accept my flaws.
She can accept some to be fair.
But because she's just so fussy, (bapak cerewet),
bapak kuat merajuk, and so insecure, it gets me irritated.

Ok, la. To be fair, all woman have the trait of 'kuat merajuk'.
But, the insecurity?
I make new friends and she's so convinced that I have forgotten her.
Kacang lupakan kulit.
My friends told me she's jealous. To me, yes. She is, but I think I can handle that.
But times come to when I can't handle that when it keeps on repeating EVERY DAMN TIME.
High school, college...
What else can i tell you, to ensure you that just because i have new friends, doesn't mean i have forgotten my old ones?

So these are all the questions I really want to ask her, but I DON'T want any answers.

Why can't you see me be happy?
What's wrong if i'm happy with someone else besides you?
You don't owe me, so what's wrong with me doing what i want to do?
Like posting this post about you. Why the F do i have to delete it? It's my blog.
I can do whatever the F i want to do with it.
Why do you have to be so damn controlling?
And why why why why why do you have to exaggerate every little things.
It's remeh temeh. And we're fighting over this small thing.
Like about that birthday wish. Remember, it's like in standard 5 when we also fight about the same thing when you ask me how come i never give you birthday presents.
Only that, this time it's about birthday wishes.
I gave you a short birthday wish. SO? Do you want it, or not?
Take it or leave it. Coz if you're gonna expect something more elaborate and extravagant than that, I'm sorry, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO THINGS.
Ask aishah about her birthday wish. I forgot to wish her because I freakin fell asleep.
I was so darned tired and i fell asleep.
The birthday girl had to call me later. I was apologetic. She was sad, but she accepted it.

I hate comparing you guys. I hate it.
And yet, because you like to compare yourself to others, then i'm just giving you what you want.
You like to ask questions like,
"Do others also get this same treatment from you?"
"Birthday org lain boleh je kau happy?"

IT's SO DAMN CHILDISh laa woman. Will you grow up already?
Again with the damn birthday thing. What the fcuk is it with you and birthdays?

God, sometimes i think it's better to be friends with boys than girls.
BOys don't think about small things like birthdays.
I hate this.
I hate this.
I hate this.
It's so messing up my mind.

It gets me (who doesn't like studying) to think
"daripade aq kusut kepale otak pk psl ko and masalah ni, baek aq study."
mak and abah, sorry my last result wasn't that good.
I'll try harder. adn i'll just ignore this stupid problem i have.

To my dear friend,
just leave me alone for a while.
I can't stand being around you at the moment.
It's obvious that we're not good for each other at the moment.