long distance everything

Had a talk with my best friend the other day. As always we would talk about what 'will' be. Truth is, we have this conversation everytime my life take a turn for big canges. and everytime, the conversation always feel like one of those in shrink-patient scene.



We agreed that blogging would be a perfect way to let each other know what happens to the other party. (I suck at communicating through a device called telephone and I suck equally at ym-ing or skype-ing).
Actually, I'm just too good at long distance relationship. Pfft.
Really. I could go on not worrying myself if I didn't know what was happening to the 'other person'. Blame it on my optimism. 'Ignorant' really is a harsh word.



Told you I'm good at this huh?
Too good in fact that if anyone didn't know me better, I'd be accused of being a snob,anti-social or that I just couldn't care less.
Yep, I've heard it all before. Tired of making excuses for myself. Sometimes I think what they say is just soo dead-on!




Try convincing someone you that you care for them and that while occasionally you do forget about them and just because you don't call them, it doesn't change the fact that yes, you miss them, and yes, they mean a lot to you.
IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. =___=
Because that cliche-d line in cheesy romantic movies;
"Just because I don't show it doesn't mean I don't feel it"
doesn't work as easily as it seems........




Which explains why I get a stream of curses thrown at me every single time based on the crime of not picking up the phone first.




If I have a real shrink in front of me, I'd ask him to tell me if it reaally is an ego thing. Maybe it's a rejection thing.
You know,if you don't call them first you wouldn't know if they didn't pick up the phone because they don't want you, or because they're too busy to spare some nanosecond time with you. Either way, not trying seems a lot easier and the plus is you wouldn't know anything about being rejected because you rejected them first.
Phew.





Wow, I don't need a shrink after all! I could do it all by myself.
I should've taken psychiatric indeed what with my phsycho-analysing and shit.





But at least now I know the people who are still in my life are either blood-bound or they really want to be with me despite being rejected. (not I intentionally reject them. it's subconciously). And that they're a lot stronger than I am. Or maybe they're just too annoying to let me off the hook. Hahaha... I'm kidding.
I'm glad you didn't let me go simply because I wouldn't call.
Sometimes the solution is to just call me if you know I wouldn't. :P





No lah.. Seriously, I'll try harder. But if I fail, I hope you won't give up on me.
Because I'm good at long distance everything, remember? :)

united states of euphoria

We can't be happy all the time. But at least we can try. Because no one wants to be sad. The less we think about it, the more we can just be.

gender-interest stereotypes

Whoah, my favourite topic. Gender issues. Yaayyy!
Ever had one of those conversations with other people where they ask you about your hobbies or interests where they go:



Jane Doe: Yeah, so what do you do in your free time?
Me: Anything i guess..
Jane Doe: Play any musical instrument?
Me: Um... Keyboard,but I suck at it. I've always wanted to play a bass though....
Jane Doe: *raised eyebrows* BASS huh??




Oh, how irksome it is to have someone questioning your interests just because it doesn't 'behoove' your gender to have so-and-so interest/hobbies. >.<
You'd think people would open their narrow mind once in a while and not look at you like you're an oddball... Ngeh.
I even hear THIS sometimes which I think is absolutely silly and preposterous:



"You listen to that? I thought that's a guy kinda music."



Seriously, what does that even mean?Music is supposed to be universal, so universal in fact that it overcomes language barriers all over the world but it could NOT transcends GENDER? Bah.



That's a load of bull if you ask me. Interests are interests.You don't have to adopt a hobby because it suits your sex. Really, I've always wanted to learn how to play bass. Not because it's 'cool', or because "That's how I roll". I simply like the sound of that sexy instrument. Because it sounds deeper and...sexaayyyy...




But of course lah there shouldn't be any "Only a boy should do that." "Only fags listen to classical music because Mozart was also a fag." "Oh, girls shouldn't listen to such violent songs because we are so,so delicate...." =p




Come on people!! I just wanna listen to some rock n roll and not just dance on my ballerina shoes~~~ cut me some slack will yaaaaa....







p/s: d'arcy wretzky of the smashing pumpkins. <3

chasing something

This state of nothing-ness is fast coming to an end! Mwarrr~ ^__^
Finally something to really look forward to and I don't mean waiting for result to come out or the long awaited emails and letters than seem to take ages to be delivered to you.
Oh well.



Never mind that, but I've been feeling so pumped up lately~~ YEAH!
Before, I was almost an empty shell. Walking around in a state of idiocy and plastic joy. Real fun comes when you have something to look forward to. A human would be empty without any of these things I believe: Religion, dreams and who wants to guess what else?
Lurrveeee lah what else? =p



Dang, I dont want to risk sounding like some corny moron. So let's stop at that. Put simply, you gotta be chasing something in life or at least have a purpose. I certainly don't want to waste my whole life figuring what I want to do. Why don't I just jump headfirst into the water and figure it out along the way rather than trying to figure it all so hard than I forgot to even experience life.
Life so far isn't quite as hard as I imagine it would be. But maybe I've been lucky all these while. Gotta appreciate this to the fullest no? You never know when life would start throwing shitload of lemons instead of peaches at you!

***

Been checking out my school senior's deviantart gallery. Mi~~ <3
I've always felt a certain awe towards her.. I mean, not her, but at what she can do. She's darn good!!! She's probably not the best there is, (but compared to me.. oh boyyy) I know there must be about gazillion talented geniuses out there. But she's someone I know and I wanna start off by surpassing someone who isn't a total stranger.
Yeah, I'm pretty competitive. Rawr~ =p





You can check out some of her art jam work. WARNING. They may contain mature content or images. It's not so bad, but some people are touchy about this obscenity thingy... But mostly they're pretty cool and cute. Browse at your own risk, prudss! ^_^


http://megane.deviantart.com/




p/s: Sorry Nana, but I refuse to give u my ID. I'll show u some of my work when I'm rich and famous and successful as an architect one day. hahaha.... :PP