I took a detour down memory lane. But not virtually, I was there.
I was at first torn between doing what was right, and doing what I wanted. Curiosity got the best of me in the end.
I gave in. I agreed.
While I was waiting, I was sorely tempted to just scream uncle and run. To stood her up.
But, that would be very bitchy of me, after I have already agreed to the 'date'. Today's purpose was to prove otherwise, not reinforce. (I'm not a bitch, honest.)
So I went.
I met.
We met.
We talked.
We were awkward.
But..
Surprisingly, it went okay.
It was not exactly fun, but it was nice.
Our conversation was laced with silences (at least to me) sometimes, but I didn't exactly feel uncomfortable sitting beside her, talking and eating side by side. I was relieved. We were very civil and polite. To be honest, I at least expected something to lash out from either one of us. I would be lying if I said I didn't anticipate the dam to just break free. But no.
No skeletons were dug out.
Our conversations were very safe, we threaded our words carefully as if they were fragile. My smile and laughters were not engineered as well. I didn't feel restrained from being myself.
What I do find odd was the way her eyes avoided from looking straight into mine. I have the habit of looking someone in their eyes while having conversation, (that is, if I want to have the conversation) but I kept finding hers staring at anything but mine.
Which gives me nothing to speculate on unless I start assuming things but assuming makes an ass out of me and her, but the irony is I am already assuming things aren't I?
Damn.
It seems that I was worrying over nothing being that everything went smoothly.
I feel good.
I didn't chicken out.
I'm taking baby steps to sweeten up what went sour in the past. Trying to not make it too hard on myself because I'm just a normal human being who make mistakes.
Que sera sera.
