contradiction

I am Jack's raging bile duct.


I am staring into nothingness. Not nothingness, in front of me is the screen of computer. I can barely open my eyes with eyelids heavy as a lead. I sleep with three lights on and wake up feeling confused. I stare at my dog-eared book on the bedside table. Empty. I feel empty. I hate waking up early. If the sun is all that great then I really don't want to compete with it.
I take the bus every morning. And they stare. They always stare. I tilt my head up higher, and swag like I signed up for the next top model. Sometimes they make funny noises when I sit in front of them. Making sounds like they are in the throes of passion, oblivious to the surrounding when in fact all was deliberate. Boy, he's really screwing himself literally, I didn't even have to tell him to. There were days when they amp up their PDAs when I sit right behind them. I want to shoot them dead. run a truck over them and scream "ignorant bastard" out the screen as I run them over and over and over and over again, Frank Miller style. Some days I walk past them and they mumble indecencies and obscenities. Profanities running over and over in my own head, Quentin Tarantino style. Stares. Insults. Mock.
I am back in bed. Seeking solitude. But I am afraid of being alone. I seek attention. But hates company. I hate baring my soul. That's one great wall of china I hope no one gets through.




I'm bored..... and I need my fix of caffeine bad.

nat.than

You mr. I'm talking about you.
You walk into the class with your swag and skinny jeans
With your head bent over your work
and your finger doing the jag and dance with the pencil
And your small smile, when you talk
Your eyes a little too bright



Score one more mr rowie
How did you get so smart?

midnight bottle

At midnight I break
And just had to talk to you
I long to hear your voice
I hate myself for being emotionally crippled
when I'm in front of you
Because deep inside I just want to show
how much I miss you too
but I don't know how
Just another barrier to break
I only dare to cry when we are 5000 miles away






p/s: wuhu... homesick.. :'(