Me? Matured?

Waa... I never thought this day would come. If I were me 4 years ago, I wouldn't recognise who I've become now... Hehe..
So many changes have come. And it's not only me, people around me seem to change too.
I have to say, I wasn't the type of person who liked changes in my life.
I hated when I was 11 and my best-est friend in the whole world just had to move to Melaka then because I know my school days won't be the same anymore.
I hated when I was 11 and well, you know, and I still remember vividly that I cried like hell because I know that my childhood phase of life was over.
Heck, I even disliked my younger sister once when I was 2 because suddenly she was just there, and the spotlight was not on me anymore... (But I totally love her now. Mumu~ <3)









Yeah, I was that control freak. I think I still retain that bit about myself now, but it's better in a way that my reaction towards changes is more mature now. I think. * big claps!!* ^-^







My opinions about things have changed now. What was good then, I think is bad now. Or vice versa depending on the subject matter. Last time, when I was in school, I hated the dress code. I reaally really hate it. School uniform sucks: Girls can only wear pinafore or baju kurung.
I mean, they made me wear kain while lugging backbreaking school bag to the 4th floor. And a white baju kurung that you have to SWEAT in everyday because you have to stand under the scorching hot 1 o'clock sun??? So impractical!!







Don't they know that white clothes can turn yellow very very easily?

Hey, not everyone uses Daia. The fluorescence from new white clothes will fade out eventually..







Basically, I didn't get the whole dress code thing. To me, school was like a playground. Play hard enough, and you'll learn something out of it. Huhu.. That was then.
So, I just couldn't get the whole rules and regulations and dress code..
What does wearing uniform have anything to do with what we learn in school?
And I couldn't see how multiple ear-piercings was going to obstruct my learning.







I know, I know. I was so silly and naive..







Hm.. But being in college makes me miss my school days more. I keep listening to 'Fluorescent Adolescent' again and again, and each time I listen to it, I get transported back to the time when I was. It's true what they say about adolescent being the best phase of your life. There was that awkward phase when I absolutely like nothing, NOTHING at all about myself. Scary hair, horrible front teeth, and oh, the acne... And the nose, and the mouth, and every body parts that I absolutely wished could look more like Jessica Alba's......







Little brat. I was an ungrateful git. But I totally blamed it on the awkward phase okay.. But, despite the social insecurities that I went through during that phase, it was also fun in way.

I mean, you only get to experience that only ONCE in your entire life time. Kan, kaaaan?







Which reminds me..
College is also coming to an end. Booyah!
And the next adventure will begin no matter where we are in the future. =D
I know I'm going to miss Ausmat. ^__^

mushroom...

Bosannye menternak cendawan kat rumah.......................


Pusing kanan, nampak dinding.
Pusing kiri, nampak dinding lagi.
Depan mata, dinding jugak.
Belakang kepale, jugak dinding.


Hibernasi bukan untuk yang suka shift along x-axis mahupun y-axis....



=__________=



Boringnye..



Dalam kebosanan aq ni, aq telah formulated plans untuk riang ria selepas TEE.

1) Tengok movie.
2) Tengok tv.
3) Lepak ngan member2 ku yang aq dah 100 tahun x jumpe.
4) Sleepover.
5) Baking cookies and cupcakes.. (Errrrks. Ripley's Believe it Or Not.) haha..
6) Melepak kat kedai mph.
7) Menggali buku2 lame dan membace sampai pukul 4 pagi.
8) Redecorate bilik.
9) Practice driving kat highway. (Aq x kire! Mak ngan abah mesti let me at least TRY.)
10) Bersenam................( =_____=llll )
11) Makan.
12) Bersenam lagi.
13) Painting. ( ToT ) I'm sorry to have neglected u.....
14) SHOPPING!!!
15) Download manga one piece.
16) Online~~~
17) Rerun Gossip Girl.
18) Rerun House.
19) Gundam Seed marathon.



20) PRAY for my TER results~~ (>___<)



Er... Sekian sje ntuk hari ni.
SEbelum hari yang ditunggu2 tiba, aq perlu bertungkus lumus!! Dan jangan mengalah!!
Dan berusaha! Dan tawakal! p(>.<)/
Kuatkan semangat, tabahkan diri~
Cekalkan hati~ Dan berharap~
AQ PERLU OPTIMISTIK, bukan PESSISIMISTIK.
Tapi yang penting sekali, JGN PLASTIK. =p


~ Hope is delicate and fragile. And yet it's human's greatest factor of determination.~


My dear friends, don't give up just yet. Keep hoping. Keep striving. Keep on fighting.



Keep your faith. amin.

rehab. relapse. rehab again.

Despair, just leave me alone.
Do not chase me in my dreams.
Don't come and haunt me at night after the lights have gone out.
Don't make me jump on my bicycle and cycle for hours in the hopes of trying to outrun you.
Don't make me open the refridgerator and reach out for that 500-calory chocolate bar.


I'm trying so hard. I still am.
But as each day pass by, I get scared.
I'm holding on to my courage, but as as I tighten my grasp on it
the more it slips away like grains of sand.
Oy,courage, don't leave me just yet!
I don't want to be accompanied by this bitter misery!


To my dear friends who are cheering me on, and supporting me,
Thank you so much for still having faith in me.
And for those who just seem to do the opposite,
Sod off.
Because there's no place in my life, for people like you.



Depression, you compress me, suffocating me.
I wish I could just blow you off....



Oy, Natto. 3 more weeks to go only. Chill la.... T_____T





Oh, God. I am your humble servant.. Please lend me your strength because I'm weak.
Give me courage. Let me find your light.

a knight in shining Armani

What does a girl wants from a man? Survey from ABS (Apsal Banyak Soal, not Australian Bureau of Statistics) shows that nowadays girls want:

-A Prince Charming
-A Knight in Shining Armour
-A Gentleman from The House Of Lords


Well, if not all three, then at least one of them.


What's not to like about Prince Charming? He's charming (as his name indicates)(name tu kan satu doa), dreamy with his wavy blond hair and piercing blue eyes. A romantic who will treat you like a true princess and whispers sweet nothings in your ear of you being the Queen of his heart. And when he proposes, oh, he proposes grandly, one knee on the rose-petaled floor as he kisses your hand with a royal tenderness.


What about a knight in shining armour? Well, all that hard muscles are so fine that not even his polished undented metal protector that he wears everywhere could hide. He exudes such masculinity and virility that makes a damsel wants to swoon into his sinewy arms. He makes you feel safe as he hold you close because you know you can rely on him to always come to your rescue when you're in distress. With a roguish smile and as he sat with a macho pose on his horse, he will sweep you off your feet onto his equally macho horse. And off the both you, riding into the sunset as the credit "And They Lived Happily Ever After" rolls.


A gentleman will lavish you with care and attention so much, you'll become so sure that you're the only lady he sees in the ballroom. A gentleman is always so smartly dressed with starched cravat, and top hats and overcoats. He will be your protector and will fiercely challenge anyone who dares to taint your reputation.You are besotted by his simple actions of opening the door for you and holding your hand when you cross the street. He respects your womanly senses and always behave ever-so gentlemanly in front of you.


Now, time has changed and in this 21st century, you might ask, "Where on EARTH can I find a prince, a knight, and a gentleman????"



In the present time, the names have changed. You no longer label them with these fancy names, but this prince, knight and gentleman is still out there. Only..now, the prince live in a house like a castle instead of just a 'castle',the knight has traded his horse for a sports car and the gentleman now more commonly known by the name 'Metrosexual'.


But if I ask, will this prince charming always be charming? Will the knight in shining armour always come to your rescue? Will the gentleman, always be the perfect gentleman?
No.
But men nowadays seem to know that these qualities are what women want:



Romantic. Heroic. Sensitive.



So everywhere I go now, I encounter men who try so haaaard to break away from stereotypes.
Which is painful for me to watch.


It pains me upon hearing them trying to impress women by saying that they like watching romantic movies too. And how they cry watching the sad scenes.
It just kills me when they try so hard to be all heroic and started treating me like I'm disabled.
It baffles me that they would overdo grand romantic gestures and totally ignore the simple,most fundamental gestures.



Everywhere I go now, and whenever I start a conversation with the opposite sex,all I would hear is how much he enjoys watching romantic movies. Suddenly, P/S I love You becomes every man's favourite movies. I'm not insinuating that men cannot like this kind of films, but honestly,
claiming that you love P/S I Love You more than Transformers or Saving Private Ryan is just overdoing it man.....



Another thing that's just denting my ego and make me nauseous is when the 'stronger gender' acts all cutesy.
For the record, let me just remind you that while some girls do like their men to be like act cute and fluffy, some girls , DON'T.
My argument is, simple. Fluffy and cute is for stuffed animals.
If I'd wanted someone to put up a cute act in front of me, I would've just bring Rabitto along with me. At least Rabitto is not trying to be cute, because he is NOT pretending to be.
Besides, it's bad for my ego. I mean, you're a guy, you're not supposed to act cuter than I am!


Duh.



Another thing is... Pets. Why pets??? Why??? WHY???
You think because I'm a girl my brain capacity cannot go beyond things that are fluffy and cute?
With the amount of people who wants to give or show me all sorts of pet animals, I am induced to hate things cute AND fluffy.




Me Drama Queen? Yes.
Me Gedik Queen? God YES.
But me, a piece of FLUFF? AT LEAST NOT IN PUBLIC.



It's not wrong. It's not. If there's anyone so out of the norm, that person would be me.
So, what I'm saying is, I don't mind if you're not pretending. I can accept that. So you reaally really truly love romantic comedies? Great! So do I.
So you honestly think you're as cute as teddy bear. Okaaay,unusual but it's alright as long as you don't brag/show that dark side of yours to me alright? I'm allergic to it.
But when a person is trying so hard to impress and start to give us what they think we want,then that's just wrong. Stop posing, posers!



So, now what happens to Prince Melt To The Floor,Handsome Knight and Lord of Hotness?



You see, girls may be attracted with all these qualities you have in you. But, that is, if they are real. What good is it, if you pretend to be someone you're not just to impress someone? They should like you for being you, not who you think they want. If they don't like what you have, it's their loss. But, what I can guarantee is, you would definitely meet someone who would love you just the way you are. Flaws and all. Fluff or not fluff. Jiwang or not jiwang.




Oh yeah.. and one final thing?



I'm smart enough to figure out when someone is fronting.
To carry on and keep pretending to impress me is just really insulting my brain.
Next time, I'll just go along, and take it to the extreme...



I'll give you the list of romantic movies I love and I'll gush to you about all the mushy scenes I soooo, totally adore. *bat eyelash*.
And I will say in a very high-pitched of "AWWWW,THAT IS SOOOO CUTEE~ age ge ge~ age ge ge~" whenever you show even a hint of fluff.


fluff.


fluff.



Nightmare. Huh. BE a man. *Mimicking Russel Peters*

ehhh.. my brain.

So. So. So.


Enough experimenting already! Now it all boils down to the real thing. What I've learned from me mock's results;


1) Numbers don't lie.
2) Really. They don't lah.
3) Tragic. But I find comfort in knowing that it could be worse although the thought that I could definitely DO BETTER is killing me slowly. Which, when I think about it again... Is more tragic.
4) The most important thing during exam is not really memorising what you have learned at 5a.m in the morning i.e 4 hours 20 minutes before the examination.

5) Clear mind, calm nerves and well rested body and eyes before exam. Heard this many times before but never realised the truth in it until just now. YOU know you are sleep deprived and in a state of fatigue when you write EIGHT HUNDRED SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD as 817 for N in probability. And when 8.00Hz becomes 800Hz, you know you should just go and kick urself in the arse.


6) Who knows methyl orange is not really orange in colour after all?

7) Miss J definitely has a thing going on for me. I keep on becoming the target of her sarcasm or whatever. Or is I that have a 'thing' for her since I keep making an ass out of myself whenever she's around me? Ah well, maybe it's just her way to teach me. She's so sassy and I like that in her. =p

8) I love my brain. Although Mr. D said that the Engines are better with facts, and the Arts are more of an 'outside the box' kind of people. I think the Archis are more balanced because we are half scientific and half artsy. Right and left brain see? You can't argue with translational equilibrium. (My brain is insulted Mr. D,when you stumble to think of the Archis strength in writing essay.)


9) When I can't go on9 and write something on my blog, I have to resort to writing a diary. I am THAT desperate to let out useless rantings to no one in particular. Could've just gone and talk to a wall, but that would scare my roomate off to her superhero in house 16.



-----------(=___='')



Ganbate for TEE. And I just can't wait anymore.

i say, i say.

Giving a pet to me is not such a good idea. Why?
Well,due to many reasons.

One of them being:


1) I don't like animals.
2)It takes up a lot of my time to take care of it.
3)Pets come with strings attached.
4)I can't appreciate it.



Explanation for no. 1;
Before you start on giving me weird looks and saying "HOW COULD YOU" with double exclamation marks, I need to clarify this: I don't like animals, I love them. The only animal I betul2 looooove tho, is cat. I'm more of a one animal girl ,folks, and no other animal can take this place away from my heart, NO!What I don't like are plushies or teddy bears. Because I only like RABITTO. and rabbito alone. and no other teddies. Nope.



Explanation no.2;
Cleaning the cage, and bathing them... Again, I wouldn't mind if it's a cat. God, I'm discriminating other animals, but can I really help it?


Explanation no.3;
The strings attached thing. Oh yeah. I have a 'thing' against something that binds me down. Call me 'commitment phobic' I duno, I dun care. I just think that giving pets to someone.. is rather... intimate. Because you are practically giving a living thing for me to take care of! And life is not something you just waste and neglect. It's like adopting. Opening a wrapped box only to discover there's an animal inside is like looking at a PLUS sign on a pregnancy stick when you're not ready to get pregnant just yet. My point being, it's like forced to have a second person in your life. You have extra responsibilities, obligations.. and honestly, I'm only ready when I SAY I'm ready dammit. You can't exactly force me, duh.


Explanation no.4:
I can't appreciate it. I simply can't. Animals are God's creation. And for this, I respect them. I will treat them humanely. But I can't appreciate it when it's forced to be under my care. I'll do a lousy job. And those animals deserve better. They don't deserve me. Kesian laa animals tu klaw we're suppose to take care of them, tapi tgk2 kite neglect dy pulak. Dosa satu, yang satu lagi, ape salah haiwan tu..

Contohnye mcm marko. Xde orang sanggup nak jage dy. Last2 aq ambik la. Klaw x? sape nak cuci dy punye badan sume tu? Cuci rumah dy? Kasi makan? Ni, aq jage ni pun kadang2 terlupe kasi makan. Mlas nak tukar air dy. Tapi kalaw x, sume org nak abandon dy. She deserves more than abandonment and rejection. Just because badan dy x fluffy dan dy x secomel kucing dan orang geli kat dy, xde sape yg sudi nak jage dy betul2. Yang aq ni pulak, mule laa kalaw ade bende2 yang unwanted and unloved, mule laa rase simpati. Kesian. X sanggup nak tgk dy unloved and abandoned camtu jek. Smpai ati.. HUuu...


Last2 aq syg jugak kat marko. Dah tu, xde sape yang nak syg kat kau kan? syian marko.. uhuk uhuk.. You have me now, it's okay baby. It's you and me against the world~ =p


I can't think of any better reason other than this. Let's just say that pets don't make good birthday presents. At least to me. Just give something simple lahhh... Kenape nak elaborate sgt??? I'll be happy to receive notebooks or storybooks or foreign movies anyday! Or chocolates. They are simply the best! X payah bagi pun xpe.